My Book, Studio Dan Baines My Book, Studio Dan Baines

Book Update and Patreon Reward Revealed

Just over a year ago I launched my Patreon page to drum up some support for the book I am writing which covers the Derbyshire Mummified Fairy Hoax.  While I'm not the fastest writer in the world, my loyal band of 18 patrons have stuck through the first year and those at the highest backer levels will be getting a mummified fairy of their very own.

'NEST 1' is a signed and numbered limited run of 11 pieces and as an added bonus these fairy sculptures also have a magic performance use.  They come already converted and compatible with Andreas Sebring's Metal Writing products and he is working on a routine that incorporates these malevolent little sprites.

If you'd like to become a patron of my book project you could also be receiving a copy of 'NEST 2' in early 2019.  There are various backer levels with different rewards but if you pledge your support now you'll get access to six draft chapters of my book both in written and audio book format, a discount code for 10% off Lebanon Circle products and possibly even your own mummified fairy.  It’s a great opportunity for you to get a piece of my work at a fraction of the cost AND get all of the written material & additional art as a bonus. 

You can find out more information and support the project here.

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Disturbing Discovery of Pixie found in Falcon Nest

Could these shocking images finally be proof of the existence of pixies and fairies?

Hosts of The Mystic Menagerie, a UK based podcast were puzzled when a regular listener sent in a series of images he claims were found in a protected bird of prey next in Cornwall.

The podcast covers topics such as strange stories, folklore and the paranormal. The listener, who wishes to remain anonymous, thought that the hosts would be the ideal recipients of the images and be less likely to ridicule his disturbing discovery.

An initial private message was received via Twitter asking for an e-mail address where the images could be sent and within a few hours the strange photographs landing in the The Mystic Menagerie inbox.

The series of images show a miniature partial human skeleton. The skull, spine and ribs are present although the limbs, lower jaw and pelvis are missing. A five pence piece is also present in the images to give an indication of scale. If these are genuine then this is the smallest humanoid remains ever discovered, but how did they appear in a falcon nest?

The mysterious man who sent in the images works for a birds of prey rescue centre in Cornwall. As well as caring for sick and injured birds part of this gentleman’s job is to monitor nests of protected species for annual breeding numbers as well as preventing eggs from being stolen by collectors. During a routine check he climbed a tall tree to inspect the nest when something amongst the twigs and feathers caught his eye.

The bones were gathered up and placed in a small sample bag and taken back to the rescue centre for closer examination. Cornish folklore is rife with tales of pixies who are said to live on the high moorland areas and having grown up in the locale of Dartmoor the man could only assume that what he had found were the remains of a pixie (or piskie).

The show's host Dan Baines was responsible for the Mummified Fairy Hoax back in 2007 and is also a prop designer so he knows a fake when he sees one however, this one leaves him stumped. Co-host Freddie Valentine has been in regular contact with the owner of the images and the remains and sees no reason why he would create a hoax as he wishes to remain anonymous and will give no indication of where he works or where he found them.

Due to the colour of the skeleton it has been hypothesised that the remains are a number of years old. Falcons return to the same nest year after year so it could be assumed that a few years ago the falcon returned from a hunt with something more interesting than your standard mouse.

Dan and Freddie are currently in discussions to see if they can travel to see the remains in order to certain if they are genuine or not. In the meantime the man has agreed to record a short video of the bones to at least prove the images are not Photoshopped in any way.

This month's podcast covers this intriguing case in greater detail and more information will be posted as and when it becomes available.

Listen to the Podcast here

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A Field Guide to Fairy Trolls

It's ironic that fairies should attract trolls.  They seems to be the perfect bait to lure the creatures from their caves and beneath their bridges.  André Øvredal, director of 'Troll Hunter' should take note if he ever plans on making a sequel – fairies can certainly bring out the worst trolls imaginable!

When the hoax first emerged back in 2007 I received thousands of e-mails from around the world, a quarter of which were from various species of 'Fairy Troll' (although the term 'Internet Troll' did not exist then as far as I know).  I should also point out that unlike other breeds of Internet Troll, Fairy Trolls are always female and borderline illiterate.  I've come to the conclusion that this might not always be due to low IQ (although Trolls are renown for being dumb, ask any D&D player) but partially due to fat fingers mashing other letters and cats wandering across the keyboard.  Ok, I admit that in my mind's eye I imagine the authors of these e-mails to be rosy and plump wearing clip-on butterfly wings, surrounded by a chorus of cats and knee deep in empty chocolate wrappers and Disney DVDs.  Of course, I'm probably wrong, right?   


The Common Telling-Off Troll

The mildest form of Fairy Troll,  this non-confrontational breed is the literary equivalent of someone shaking their fist at you from across a couple of garden fences.  They rarely use foul language and are the most articulate when it comes to dishing out a rollocking.  I imagine the 'Common Telling-Off Troll' to be better at male interaction with a lower appetite for cake and cats.  Here's an example (nothing has been edited from these original e-mails) -

-13-07-2010-

I must admit, I did not find it funny. lolz Though I'm sure alot of people around the globe must have been quite miscellaneous with your prank. Especially those that love their fantasy+probably hope/believe in fairies/fantasy creatures. awww hahaha+you're right. It will be one thing you won't forget in a heartbeat. Maybe something you will always remember. ? ;-)

Be careful with your creations. You might see a goblin or a leprachaun one day. Maybe evena mermaid or a unicorn in your garden. Hahaha ? :-0


The Catty Ranter Troll

This slightly larger Troll blurts out angry paragraphs laden with phrases designed to evoke a sense of guilt within the reader.  Catty Ranters believe in glittery flower fairies and are commonly found nailing fairy doors to trees in parks and leaving acorn cups full of raspberry lemonade outside.  They will also usually own a minimum of ten cats and have some mild form of diabetes.  Example -  

-02-10-2014-

You sir are an asshole. Purposely revieling fake remains and playing on the thoughts of other people just to observe what happens for your sick and twisted "experiment" is morally wrong and indecent! I happen to believe in magical things and to prey on innocent people who hope for something more in life is just sick and wrong. I truely don't know how you live with yourself. If someone found a real magical being now who would believe it even if it was real?! You have singlehandedly wrung the hopes and dreams out of people I know and love and because of your damn HOAX they decided not to believe or have hope anymore. How dare you! I hope somone really does find something amazing and you never hear or see of it! That way you are denied the fullfillment of your hopes and dreams like all of the vicitms of your fucking prank!!!


The Death Threat Troll

Finally, the 'Death Threat Troll'.  Dark, brooding and nasty, this troll will pull every trick in the book to break you.  They usually hold you responsible for the death of someone or something and then direct the same fate at you (but in a more brutal and sometimes bloody way).  These trolls can be found under bridges in the grounds of high security mental facilities.  Internet access is still allowed but limited hence the hastily typed splurge of vitriol devoid of punctuation.  They would own cats if pets were allowed and chocolate is only available on visiting days hence their physical health is generally better than other Troll species.  Glittery lace and wire butterfly wings are also replaced with crayon coloured paper thus removing sharp objects and the ability for them to be weaponised...

-24-02-2009-

You derserve to die you fucking shatterer of dreams my 6yo daughter is terminally ill and the photos of a real fairy gaveher the hope to fight the illness but now you have said it is a hoax she has lost all hoep and is slipping away because of YOU you have ruined our life you BASTARD I hope the same happens to you FAIRIES are real and you have destoyed the hoopes and dreams of millions you have upset them and they WILL KILL YOU I hope they cut the breaks on your car and you crash and DIE you FUCKER my daughter has hours left so I must go and be by her side DESTROYER OF DREAMS DIE!


I originally had hundreds of Fairy Troll e-mails which had been sent to my lebanoncircle@gawab.com address.  Gawab was a free e-mail service based in the middle east that I had used for a number of years however, 5 months after the hoax they deleted my account.  I lost every piece of correspondence regarding the fairy hoax and although I requested a log of my e-mails my requests went unanswered.    The messages used in the examples above were received via Facebook and they still keep coming through much to my amusement.  

I now consider myself an authority on 'Fairy Trolls' as well as 'Mummified Fairies'.  New species are being discovered daily and knowing that my art has touched so many nerves with such negative results makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Keep them coming!

 

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