Evil Cakes for Kids Part III - The Cake with a Thousand Eyes
Oscar is one lucky boy. Being an October baby makes him a Halloween baby and guess what? Here at Castle Von Baines we LOVE Halloween! It's no surprising then that all of his previous birthday cakes have had a spooky theme with last year's Harry Potter Cauldron topping the chart for most liked cake EVER. So what creepy delight would grace the party table this year? The cauldron was a tough act to follow but armed with my trusty piping bag, cake tins and soldering iron I set to work in true Shellian fashion to create a living but totally edible monster cake. It's alive!
Fortunately, in order to breath life into my monster I didn't need to rob graves or harness the power of lightning, I just needed some eyes. Not real ones of course, these eyes were created using a Teensy 3.2 microcontroller and two rather small computer monitors (1.5” OLED displays). These would be embedding in the cake to give the mass of flour, eggs and sugar some personality. A tutorial on how to build and program the eyes can be found here.
The eye circuitry was mounted in a dummy cake slice enclosure made from card. A section of cake was removed and the eye circuit was slotted into place and secured with a dollop of buttercream.
The recipe I use for my cakes is perfect for 'construction', you can stack two or three layers without the need of internal dowels for support and they don't collapse under the weight. They are light and moist but slightly denser in texture that you’d expect from a standard Victoria Sponge. I personally prefer 'heavier' moist cakes like apple cake and carrot cake
For this I used -
250g Self Raising Flour
250g Caster Sugar
250g Unsalted Butter
1 Teaspoon of Salt
4 Large Eggs (separated)
100ml Natural Yogurt
Vanilla Essence
60g Cocoa Powder (use more if you like you cakes more chocolatey)
Gently melt 250g of butter and once it is fully melted add the 250g of caster sugar and stir until smooth. Remove from the heat and place to one side to cool.
Add the salt & cocoa powder to the flour and sieve.
Separate the 4 eggs and place the whites in a mixer and beat until fluffy.
Tip the 4 yolks into the butter and sugar mixture along with a teaspoon of vanilla extract and 100ml of natural yogurt and mix.
Then add the flour to the wet mixture and gently fold until the ingredients are fully incorporated.
Finally, take the whisked egg whites and fold it into the mixture until it is fully mixed. Be sure not to over mix the batter.
Line a couple of cake tins, pour in the mixture and bake for 30 minutes at 180c. If the middle still wobbles after 30 minutes return the cake to oven for a further 5 minutes and repeat if necessary.
You can add pretty much anything to this recipe so be adventurous! My kids are boring, they only like chocolate which luckily is my least favorite meaning I don’t as many off-cuts as I normally would!
The cake consisted of three layers of chocolate sponge, with the middle layer being slightly smaller, similar to a fault line cake. This recessed area would be used to form a 360 degree mouth. The eyes were powered from a USB battery pack mounted under the cake board. To thread the wires through the cake I made a 12” long cookie cut fro Plasticard to channel a core a hole through the centre of the cake.
All of the layers were given a quick crumb coat and then placed in the fridge for half an hour while I prepared the buttercream.
Oscar has a particular fondness for chocolate orange so I whipped up a large batch of orange buttercream along with some pink and black for the mouth. The teeth were simply mini marshmallows. I had intended to make sharp teeth from white chocolate but I felt that the marshmallows gave the monster a friendlier appearance. Piping from the deepest point outwards, I started with the black followed by the pink gums.
I roughly piped the orange buttercream over the rest of the cake. I didn’t want perfect lines of icing, I was after a finish that looked slightly chaotic that emulated what I can only describe as ‘horny fur’. The ears were created using strawberry meringue swirls.
It only made sense that a creature with a 360 degree mouth should also have vision to match so I added a more eyes and an extra tongue. You never know when one could come in handy! Some parents commented on the uncanny realistic texture of the tongue. This was created by stippling the fondant icing with an egg wash brush followed by a couple of coats of confectioner’s glaze to give it a permanent dribbly wet look.
As you can see, the cake was a hit and the poor monster with a thousand eyes was promptly sliced up and shared between 20 hungry kids and their parents.
The disturbing tale of Mr Fritz – the haunted ventriloquist dummy of Stalag IIB
Halloween and Remembrance Day are a mere eleven days apart so it seems only fitting that I post this story regarding two of the most terrifying things a person should never have to encounter during their life – war and ventriloquist dolls.
The private collection of alternative entertainer Michael Diamond is home to some of the rarest sideshow exhibits and apparatus in the UK. Oddities such an elephant headed boy from Brading Waxwork Museum, real execution swords and axes, Houdini's handcuffs and shrunken heads are all on display in his 'Freak Room'. But tucked away in the corner, shrouded in a blanket is a display cabinet with a firmly locked door. The 'Freak Room' is now the final resting place of Mr Fritz, a haunted ventriloquist doll, who has struggled to find a home since 1945.
Not much remains of Mr Fritz. A solitary head, mounted on a piece of wooden pace stick, his face peeling and warped. As dead as he looks, some would argue that he is very much alive. Unlike most of the exhibits in Michael's collection which were acquired through considerable financial investment, Mr Fritz was given to him for free. Michael admits though that this was not initially unusual,
“Most people find dolls, especially ventriloquist dolls far too creepy. The unlucky ones end up being thrown out or locked in attics for years while others get given to collectors like myself”.
A well know WWII Militaria dealer in Liverpool approached Michael at a festival they were both working at over the summer. He had seen Michael’s travelling exhibition of oddities and thought that Mr Fritz would fit in perfectly. Mr Fritz was discovered in an Antiques Mall in Myrtle Beach, USA and once the dealer heard of the connection with a German POW camp he felt compelled to buy him and bring him to the UK. It was then that things started to happen.
The dealer, who wishes to remain anonymous, first started to notice something strange when he put Mr Fritz on display in his showroom. He would lock up for the night and come back in the morning to discover that Mr Fritz's display case door was wide open, even after it had been firmly shut. Every night it would be shut, yet every morning it would be open again. Things then started to take a more uncanny turn. Mr Fritz would sometimes have his eyes open, when they were normally closed. His mouth would also change position. The dealer tried to think of obvious explanations such as humidity, a breeze or even going as far to think that a mouse may have made a nest in his head. On closer inspection, he discovered it was neither of these things. Day after day the door continued to open so he finally taped it shut. The following day he returned to find the tape peeled back and the door open once more. He finally removed Mr Fritz from the showroom and placed him in the garden shed where he stayed for another six months. His children then reported hearing laughter from the shed as they played in the garden and nobody would dare go near it.
Mr Fritz had to go.
As soon as Michael adopted the lonesome remains of Mr Fritz, he placed him in the 'Freak Room' and immediately things started to happen. The door started to open. At first it was once or twice a week but soon the door opened every night without fail. He even discovered one morning that the display case was not only open but had moved six inches across the table. Curiosity finally got the better of Michael and he set up a GoPro camera to monitor Mr Fritz. As you might imagine, a doll that was made to entertain people was not camera shy and the following footage was shot over two nights in September 2019.
But what is the story behind Mr Fritz?
A small hand written note that accompanied the eerie doll explained that he was originally a ventriloquist doll who was used to entertain Allied POWs during WWII in Stalag IIB between 1943 – 1945.
Stalag II-B was a German POW camp situated 2.4 kilometres west of the village of Hammerstein in Poland. In 1933 it was established as one of the first Nazi concentration camps and was used to house German communists. In late September 1939 the camp was changed to a POW camp to house Polish soldiers and in August 1943 the first American prisoners arrived, having been taken prisoner in the Tunisian campaign. Over 600 US POWs were held in Stalag IIB and life was harsh, consisting of long days of hard labour on neighbouring farms with meagre rations.
Prisoners tried to overcome these hardships by educating themselves and staging entertainments such as musicals and comedy. Among the prisoners with enough energy to entertain was Private 'Billy' Booth who had been a children's entertainer and puppeteer before the war started. He had made Mr Fritz with German newspapers soaked in potato starch and painted him with a smuggled pot of pink gloss that a Polish farmer had given him which had been used to paint his daughter's cot.
For almost 18 months Billy Booth and Mr Fritz entertained the prisoners of Stalag IIB with 'in' jokes and songs. He was so good that even some of the German guards found him funny. But unfortunately on 14th January 1945, 2 weeks before the camp was liberated, Billy and nine other US POWs were taken into a field, made to dig a large pit and shot for not working hard enough.
When the camp was finally liberated on 28th January 1945, Mr Fritz was taken back to the US by a fellow prisoner and given to Billy Booth's family as a reminder of their son's fortitude and his ability to raise morale in the harshest conditions.
Lest we forget.
How Mr Fritz ended up in a US antiques mall is not know, did Billy Booth's family give him away or was he thrown out for being too 'lively'? These things we will never know. All we do know is that what remains of Billy Booth's creation is safely tucked away in Michael Diamond's 'Freak Room' where he shall remain for the unforeseeable future. And if Billy wants to open Mr Fritz's cabinet every now and again to reminisce days gone by, then Michael doesn't have a problem with that.
Evil Cakes for Kids Part II - Living Cakes!
Baking for my kids is fun and I’ve come to realise that it draws many parallels with my work as a prop designer. The only real difference are the materials and that your final masterpiece is destroyed and devoured by hoards of kids ‘gangsta tripping’ on fizzy drinks and Haribo sweets.
To take my bakes to the next level I thought I would incorporate some elements of illusion, animation and sound to compliment the standard aesthetics and palatability of the bog standard cake. Having said that, I don’t think any of my cakes have been bog standard, but you get what I mean.
My first venture into what I have termed ‘living cakes’ was a Harry Potter inspired cauldron that is stirred by unseen hands for my son’s 6th Birthday.
I baked four chocolate cakes to give the cauldron the required height to install the mechanism. This time lapse video shows the basic construction.
The mechanism used for the ghostly stirring movement is the same method as used for the Harry Potter cauldrons. To the uninitiated, The Self-Stirring Cauldron is an enchanted type of cauldron invented by Gaspard Shingleton in the late 20th century that magically stirs potions on its own. However, in reality it’s just a simple motor controlled by a microprocessor with a stick stuck to it. The mechanism is housed in a glass vase which slots into the middle of the cake. This not only protects the cake from wires and moving parts but also acts as a reservoir which holds warm water and dry ice to create the classic Hammer Horror bubbling cauldron effect. To minimise the sound of a motor whirring away the stirrer was made from balsa wood to make it as light as possible. To give the stirring action a more irregular realistic motion, the stick was mounted on a bent metal bracket and purposefully off-centre. This gives the illusion that the stirrer is speeding up and slowing down when in fact it’s just turning at a steady rate.
In the base of the case I also placed a waterproof remote controlled led light which can be set to any desired colour and lighting pattern. I opted for a slowly morphing kaleidoscope of colours which combined with the bubbling smoke and disembodied stirrer created a mesmerising illusion for both the children and adults. The ghostly stirring action really had some parents scratching their heads.
Although the cauldron was voraciously hoovered up by the members of the party, the mechanism was removed and stored away for a later date or to be modded for some other creepy creation.
The next cake didn’t quite have the same visual impact as the cauldron but included an audible element as well as some fitting visuals.
This was the cake for my son’s 18th birthday. Being a huge gaming geek with a love for the greatest decade mankind has ever experienced, the 80s, one item sprang to mind that encapsulates the most defined era of our time - the Nintendo Power Glove.
I’m more of a vanilla sponge and jam chap myself but it seems all of my boys go wild for chocolate cake so this bake was no different. If nothing else, I can bake a great chocolate cake even though I don’t personally like it.
The black controls of the Power Glove were made from fondant icing and liquorice built over a pre-programmed LED screen that could display up to ten scrolling messages. A simple MP3 player module and speaker were also concealed inside the cake blasting out a Synth Wave soundtrack. This cake not only tasted great, it sounded amazing and probably worked better than the real thing!
John Murray Spear's 'Mechanical Messiah' Discovered in Colorado Attic
In 1854, an experiment far stranger than anything in Mary Shelley’s novel took place when a New England clergyman married science and spiritualism in an attempt to build nothing less than a god. Discovered in a dusty attic in Colorado, could this be John Murray Spear’s fabled ‘God Machine’ or ‘New Motive Power’?
Those familiar with the Lore podcast may have heard of this bizarre machine in Episode 61 ‘- Labor Pains’. In 1853 work began on a mysterious machine, an experiment that has since become synonymous with the early spiritualist movement. If successful, it was believed that the machine in question had the power to “revolutionize the world and raise mankind to an exalted level of spiritual development.” It was thought that once finished, the machine itself would act as a physical body for God, a metal and copper suit to contain the divine spark. They called it the New Motive Power; Heaven’s last, best gift to man.
An Early Etching of the Mechanical Messiah
What eventually happened to this machine has become the source of legend and speculation. According to Spear, the Machine was dismantled and transported hundreds of miles to the small town of Randolph. There it was housed in a temporary structure until a mob - in a scene reminiscent of the peasants storming Frankenstein’s castle - destroyed it. However, over the years, those who believe in the creation of the God Machine have surmised that Spear and his group fabricated the destruction of the machine with the hopes of drawing negative attention away, sacrificing their credibility for the safety of the infant creation. They believe that it still exists somewhere, slowly gaining strength after one-hundred and fifty-six years in seclusion, and that one day, it will unveil itself to humanity in it’s true form : the second coming of Christ; the Metal Messiah.
Even more of a mystery if how the machine made the journey from Randolph to Colorado where it laid undiscovered for over a century. The age and likeness to the early etchings point to the possibility that this could well be the genuine ‘God Machine’. It was found during the routine house clearance of an elderly lady who sadly died with no next of kin or immediate family. Miss Akerman of Greeley, Colorado, known locally as ‘Old Lady Crackerman’ due to her eccentricity was a habitual hoarder and lived a rambling mansion on the edge of town which became home to her vast antique collection. In her will she instructed that in the event of her death, the house be cleared and all of the contents auctioned with the proceeds being donated to local pet rescue charities.
The God Machine was discovered during the final stages of clearance which had taken over 3 week to catalogue. In a locked attic in the furthest corner of the mansion, a drab stained dust sheet covered a mysterious object that would later baffle the local antique experts charged with valuing Miss Ackerman’s extensive collection.
The only clue to the origin of steampunk contraption was a brass plate engraved with ‘New Motive Power - John Murray Spear’. A quick Google search revealed that they had uncovered something that was rumored to have been destroyed over a hundred years ago.
The mass of brass cogs, dials, glass cylinders and strange clockwork systems looks like a steampunk wet dream, yet this was built long before the questionable fashion of top hats, goggles and clockwork powered laser guns was born.
So the big question is, does it work? Is this the real ‘New Motive Power’, the ‘God Machine, the ‘Mechanical Messiah’?
As far we know, the machine has been loaned from the Ackerman estate to a local Spiritualism expert where it is being tested for its authenticity. Watch this space for more news.
The Box of Astaroth - The Shrine of Baron Samedi
Other than the legendary Doomsday Voodoo Dance, I've surprisingly had very little experience of Haitian Vodou. That was until September 2019 when I was commissioned to create a Box of Astaroth in the form of a shrine. More accustomed to Gothic Victoriana, I felt slightly out of my comfort zone but over a period of a few months I let the project evolve and almost manifest itself. The final piece is a shrine to Baron Samedi, the leader of the Guédé, loa who have particular links to magic, ancestor worship and death. I also felt some form of affinity with Baron Samedi due his notoriety for outrageous behavior, continuous swearing and filthy jokes.
Baron Samedi can usually be found at the crossroads between the worlds of the living and the dead. When someone dies, he digs their grave and greets their soul after they have been buried, leading them to the underworld. I think his most endearing feature is that he ensures that all corpses rot in the ground to stop any soul from being brought back as brainless zombies. All that is required is an offering or sacrifice at the shrine. These types of shrine are houses were one can communicate with the spiritual realm and appease the gods and the spirits of ancestors. It is believed that these shrines are bestowed with highly supernatural powers but are dependent on the extent and quality of sacrifice offered to them. Use with caution!
Unlike the other boxes I have made over the years which had an emphasis on a fine antique finish and aesthetically pleasing details, the voodoo shrine had to be approached from a completely different artistic angle. My research of voodoo shrines revealed that they are not only fine examples of simple folk art but also a visual phantasmagoria of weird artefacts and bizarre offerings. These shrines, as well as their intended religious purpose, also serve as amazing Haitian cabinets of curiosity, all unique in both artistic style and content.
As always, I have used original antiques where possible and this edition retains all the functionality of previous boxes.
Anatomical Study of the Common Fairy
From the private collection of Octavius Rookwood (August 16, 1853 – July 17, 1936), American British pharmaceutical entrepreneur, explorer and occult researcher.
This specimen was acquired by Rookwood during a stay with the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire at their home, Chatsworth House in Derbyshire, UK. A farmer from the village of Allestree, situated approximately 30 miles to the south of the Chatsworth estate, discovered the small fairy body when his faithful rat catcher left the limp remains on his kitchen floor. The cat normally left daily 'glory gifts' for the farmer which comprised of mice, rats and small birds but during the spring of 1902 it started to leave dead fairies. Rumours spread throughout the local villages and the farmer began to exhibit them at the pubs and cattle shows for a small fee. Rookwood got wind of the story and promised the farmer a handsome reward if he could supply him with a fresh specimen. The farmer promptly delivered two fairy corpses to Rookwood; one complete and another partially devoured by the farm cat.
The framed specimens were exhibited at the Royal Anthropological Institute in London for a number of years before disappearing in 1911. They were rediscovered in 1998 during the restoration of Rookwood's ancestral home by the National Trust. Dismissed as a late Victorian sideshow oddity, the fairies were auctioned at Sotheby's to raise funds for the upkeep of the estate and purchased by a private collector believed to be a prominent Canadian businessman.
The Box of Astaroth - Hell's Mouth Edition
The client brief for this commission was to incorporate elements of the Dark Rituals box, specifically the fetish, and the Emerald Tablet box. I decided to go with the medieval theme of Hell's Mouth, Medieval theatre often had a hellmouth prop or mechanical device which was used to attempt to scare the audience by vividly dramatizing an entrance to Hell. The art featured in this box is also designed to evoke a feeling of demonic dread for anyone who looks inside.
The Hellmouth also acts a portal or gateway to Hell in which demonic spirits may freely pass through and engage with items in the box such as ringing bells and moving objects. It is advised to prepare a protective ring of salt around the box before you attempt to do this as whatever comes out of the portal may not want to return and attach itself to an audience member or drag in a soul to eternal damnation.
The Hellmouth never bites the damned, but remains wide open, ready for more.
Also, for any League of Gentlemen fans, the image below may contain the first ever depiction of Papa Lazarou, can you see him?
As always, I have used original antiques where possible and this edition retains all the functionality of previous boxes.
Book Update and Patreon Reward Revealed
Just over a year ago I launched my Patreon page to drum up some support for the book I am writing which covers the Derbyshire Mummified Fairy Hoax. While I'm not the fastest writer in the world, my loyal band of 18 patrons have stuck through the first year and those at the highest backer levels will be getting a mummified fairy of their very own.
'NEST 1' is a signed and numbered limited run of 11 pieces and as an added bonus these fairy sculptures also have a magic performance use. They come already converted and compatible with Andreas Sebring's Metal Writing products and he is working on a routine that incorporates these malevolent little sprites.
If you'd like to become a patron of my book project you could also be receiving a copy of 'NEST 2' in early 2019. There are various backer levels with different rewards but if you pledge your support now you'll get access to six draft chapters of my book both in written and audio book format, a discount code for 10% off Lebanon Circle products and possibly even your own mummified fairy. It’s a great opportunity for you to get a piece of my work at a fraction of the cost AND get all of the written material & additional art as a bonus.
You can find out more information and support the project here.
The Box of Astaroth - Dark Rituals Edition
It's been a while since I last completed a Box of Astaroth and the first five months of the year seem to have passed by without me seemingly doing much as all. Thankfully the client who commissioned this has patiently waited while I completed other projects, organised Doomsday and taken care of two new additions to the family.
The client wanted an innocent looking box that would inconspicuously grace any mantlepiece yet it would harbour some very dark contents. The key phrases he used were altar, strange equipment, forbidden arts and devil worship.
The strange occult fetish is a fetus skull adorned with bells and bones. Spells and curses have been hammered into the head with coffin nails; reminiscent of rituals past. The dark history that surrounds this box and the evil it has witnessed are up to the client to fabricate but I think I've given him enough mileage for a convincingly disturbing tale.
As always, I have used original antiques where possible and it retails all the functionality of previous boxes.
The Mummified Fairy Hoax is being turned into a book and you can be part of it!
The time has finally come to for me to start writing my account of the mummified fairy hoax. 2017 will be 10th anniversary of the event that changed my life in ways I could have never imagined. The folly of the mummified fairy may have destroyed my professional career but the opportunities and adventures that ensued have ironically turned the curse into a gift of new life and discovery.
The project will be hosted through Patreon, which for those who are unaware, is a way for creators to fund their work through subscription payments from their fans. As I am primarily a prop artist I can offer more rewards to my supporters than just written work. I plan to illustrate my own work and create limited edition fairy sculptures for the top level subscribers. It’s a great opportunity for you to get a piece of my work at a fraction of the cost AND get all of the written material & additional art as a bonus.
The story goes far beyond everything I have ever revealed in my lectures. I give a hint at the end of my presentation about a mysterious letter received from one of the UK's highest security mental institutions, but the story is far from over. There's Nazi cults, secret tunnels, derelict WWII military installations, arcane secrets and close encounters with the security services.
How does all of this relate to the original mummified fairy hoax? Well, you'll have to become a patron to find out.
In a creative kick start to 2017 the project launched today so if you’d like to join me on my unexpected journey and pledge your support it will be an honour to have you aboard.
You can find out more information and support the project here.
The Krampus Box - the demonic origins of the elf on the shelf.
I've got one and I'm sure that if you have children you may have one too, but let's face it, the Elf on the Shelf is nothing more than Christmas cash grab dressed up as a faux tradition of epic proportions. This grinning plastic monstrosity has been heavily criticised for potentially bullying your child into thinking good behaviour equals gifts. While this might be true, the concept of scaring the pre-Christmas bejesus out of your children in order to make them behave has much darker roots. The Krampus has seen a revival over the last few years and the popularity of this festive demon has shed light on some long forgotten traditions from deep within Europe. One slightly bizarre practice which could be considered the demonic older brother of the Elf of the Shelf is 'The Krampus Box', a simple but terrifying way to keep your children in check before the big day.
The idea was very simple; during the build up to St Nicholas Day on the 6th December, the box would be placed on the fireplace next to the stockings. If a child was naughty they would have their name written on paper or their photograph placed inside the box where it would remain until the next sunrise. In the dark frozen winters of Europe the next sunrise could be days, so once you were in the box there was no telling when you would get out. If you were unfortunate to still be in the box on the 5th December, also known as Krampusnacht, you would be punished and The Krampus would come for you. During Krampusnacht the Krampus would visit each home and look in each box to see if any photographs or names had been left. If there was he would snatch the named naughty child as they slept and drag them to hell in his sack. As you can imagine, the box was so effective that there was never any need to place anything inside it! It’s an ingenious idea and much more palatable than having a grinning pink plastic elf ‘checking up on you’ every day.
As far as I'm aware there are no surviving examples of original Krampus boxes, so in an attempt to revive some real festive fear I made my own. I took the description from an Austrian version of the Krampus Box tale. In typical Brothers Grimm style the outcome of the story is far from pleasant so it's not surprising that this horrific tale almost vanished from the folk records. It appears at first glance to take some typical Germanic story elements of naughty children but then adds a cruel 'Wasp Factory' twist that is pretty disturbing. Anyway, grab a mince pie and a glass of sherry and we'll begin.
Picture if you will a festive family gathering full of rosy cheeked children gathered around a fire. As the howling wind and snow storm batters the ramshackle log cabin a mysterious box is removed from small chained hessian bag and placed on the mantle. The cloven hoofed box centred with a grinning demon knob glints in the winter firelight as a wave of silence sweeps over the children. The story begins...
Deep in the forest bordering Austria and Bavaria there lived a carpenter with seven children, two horses, three goats and his wife. Of the seven children one child named Max was particularly naughty and no punishment would deter Max from behaving badly. He would repent for a day or two and then revert back to his mischievous ways and increasingly worse than before. During a summer of terror he had tied the horse's tails together, set the neighbours orchard ablaze and slit all of the grain bags at the village mill. Then, as winter came and the days grew shorter Max could not play outside and boredom set in. His pranks within the home became worse and his family were at a loss at what to do with him.
Max hadn't always been terrible. He was once a content and well behaved child, but then something changed. His younger brother Lukas was born and Max was no longer the apple of his mother's eye and so to seek attention he slowly transformed into the most vindictive child imaginable. This cry for attention had the opposite effect and his mother started to ignore him. His older brothers and sisters also wanted nothing to do with the little monster he had become. Even the villagers would avoid Max in fear that they would fall victim to one of his terrible pranks.
The one person who felt pity for the child was his own father, the carpenter. He had an idea, one that he hoped would scare Max into behaving; until the end of winter at least. He built a small wooden box and carefully painted it with holly wreaths and decorated it with bells although this was not your normal festive trinket box. Painted on the lid were the words “Greetings from Krampus’ and either side of a demon headed brass knob were the pictures of a black, goat-legged creature stuffing crying children into a sack.
When it was complete the carpenter sat Max down and told him about the mysterious box. He opened the lid and took out a small postcard of the Krampus riding a broomstick. On the broomstick were eight naughty children. He told Max that if he misbehaved he would also join the ill fated children on the broomstick. His photograph would be placed in the box along with the postcard and it would remain there until the next day The photograph could only be removed from the box in the light of the following day and only good behaviour would allow the photograph to be removed from the box. If Max continued to be naughty and his photograph was still in it on Krampusnacht he would be taken by the Krampus and never seen again. The carpenter placed the box on the mantle above the fire and once again warned Max that his photograph would end up in the Krampus Box should his bad behaviour continue.
Max listened to his father's tale and pretended to absorb every word with wide eyed innocence although, as the second youngest sibling he really didn't believe in St Nicholas and especially not the Krampus. His eldest brother had told him long ago that they were nothing but fairy tales for little children. Max scoffed at his father's tall tale and rather than take heed, Max continued to terrorise his family and fellow villagers. He placed hedgehogs inside the blankets at the foot of every bed, he let the goats into the house where they ate his sister's best dress and finally he put gunpowder in his grandfather's pipe. The blast knocked him stone cold unconscious and very nearly killed him. On every occasion his photograph would be placed in the box and every sunrise, on the promise of good behaviour, it would be taken out again. And so the battle continued, until the big day finally came...
The eve of St Nicholas day had arrived and the family were busy baking, cleaning and preparing for the celebrations ahead. The carpenter was busy in the workshop finishing last minute orders for customers and everyone was involved in the festive preparations. Everyone that is apart from Max. There was only a few hours of sunlight left and Max had been particularly naughty the previous day and his photograph was still inside the Krampus Box on the fireplace. In the festive hustle and bustle nobody had remembered to remove Max's photograph from the box, in fact nobody had even acknowledged Max was there. In an opportunistic moment Max took it upon himself to remove his own photograph from the box. In the Christmas chaos and calamity nobody saw Max take the box, nor did they see him remove his own photograph and more to the matter, nobody saw him replace the photograph with one of his baby brother, Lukas. Max knew that the Krampus did not exist, that's what he kept telling himself, but a constant nagging in his curious mind kept wondering “what if?”. True or not, either way he was not prepared to be the one with his photograph in the box on Krampusnacht. So he did what any devious wretch would do, he swapped his photograph for one of Lukas, the darling little brother who had stolen his mothers heart. Max closed the box with an evil glint in his eye and placed it back on the mantle. The sun set, the box locked and Max went to bed.
By the time his father had returned from the workshop it had long been dark and everyone including Max was safely tucked up in bed fast asleep. He remembered that Max had been naughty the day before so he went to remove the photograph from the Krampus Box. To his surprise, just as the tale foretold, the box would not open. It was firmly locked and no amount of prising and shaking would make it open. Just as he had told Max, the box could only be opened in daylight and the sun had set hours ago. Could the old wives tale be true? What if the Krampus really was coming for Max? Regardless of how naughty Max was, he loved his son and didn't want to risk the possible consequences. He hurriedly gathered the box, wrapped it in a cloth and hid it in his workshop under a pile of wood, well away from the house and Max.
The night passed peacefully and the morning St Nicholas Day sun streamed through the windows of the cottage. The carpenter and his wife sat by the fire and waited for the impending tide of excited children to come crashing down the stairs. One by one the children poured into the room, all of them that is apart from Max and Lukas. In a blind panic the carpenter raced upstairs to find Lukas' bed empty. He tore back the sheets to find nothing but the still warm imprint of his son covered in black sooty hand prints. He then raced into Max's room who was still fast asleep and shook him awake hysterically shouting Lukas' name over and over. Suspecting Max's resentment of Lukas he know that he must have something to do with his disappearance.
“Where is Lukas? Have you seen Lukas? What have you done with Lukas?”
Max stared at his father, his eyes still blurred with sleep. Lukas? What could possibly have hap... And then it struck him. The box, Max had put his photograph in the box. Max started back at his father in fear and disbelief; he could only mutter two words.
“The b-b-b-box, the b-b-b-box...”
The carpenter threw Max back into the bed and raced to the workshop to retrieve the hidden box. The worst of his fears were true and a feeling of dread began well in the pit of his stomach. The box was not there. He searched everywhere but the box had vanished. In a delirious dash of panic he charged back home as fast as his legs could carry him so raise the alarm. Yet, as he burst through the door, there it was, the box was back on the shelf above the fireplace where it had been the previous night when he had returned from the workshop. He grabbed the box and as the rays of sunlight shone though the window it opened with ease and the carpenter was faced with a disturbing discovery. The photograph of Max was no longer in the box. It had been replaced with a photograph of Lukas but where Lukas should have been was a scorched hole. With a shaking hand he removed the blackened photograph from the box and underneath he saw something that made his blood run cold. On the postcard of the Krampus, instead of eight children there was a ninth child sat on the broomstick. The carpenter squinted and looked closer and as he wiped the tears from his eyes he could see that the ninth child was his beloved Lukas.
Lukas was never seen again. In the search for the young boy the villagers found nothing but his favourite teddy bear and a track of large hoof prints that led deeper into the dark forest. The tracks stopped suddenly, as if the creature that made them had just vanished or flew away.
Max's bad behaviour came to a grinding halt. The carpenter kept him locked in his room most of the time and his photograph was placed back in the Krampus Box. Max's devilish trick was so bad that the box could never be opened again, even in the sunlight of the brightest summer day. No matter how well he behaved the box remained clamped shut and it stayed that way for a whole year.
The following Krampusnacht the creature returned. With a black clawed hand it opened the box with ease and took out the photograph of Max. The image of smiling boy began to fade and burn and Max was never seen again.
So next Christmas, as you lie in bed eagerly listening for the soft jingle of sleigh bells also listen for the bark of dogs and the rattle of chains. The Krampus is coming to town so make sure you're good or you might just be spending Christmas with Max.
For those wishing to discover more about the roots and rebirth of this folkloric devil than I can thoroughly recommend 'The Krampus and the Old Dark Christmas' by Al Ridenour available through Feral House.
The Cabinet of Curiosities Challenge Part 2
Some of you may recall my previous Cabinet of Curiosities post from way back in June. The challenge was to create a cabinet of curiosities within 3 weeks however, the year took a rather nasty turn and the death of a close friend followed by health issues hindered the creative process. I should really be grateful that I actually completed the project in 3 months, although not quite as ambitious as the original 3 weeks I feel the end result is more than worth it.
At the end of my previous post the cabinet exterior was complete as well as the self unlocking padlock mechanism. The interior was a blank canvas, four large sections of empty space ready to be filled with fantastical things. The final cabinet can be broken down into 4 distinct sections and I will cover them individually.
The Odditorium
Taking inspiration from a typical cabinet of curiosity I wanted this section to be an assortment of inconsistant nooks and crannies in which the client could hide his tools of the trade. The items that adorn the shelves each have a terrible tale or mysterious history that the owner can pluck at any point from the display to recount to his mesmerised audience. There is even a slot for a deck of cards should needs must.
Haunted Artifact Exhibition
The permanent resident of this mysterious corner of the cabinet is a haunted doll of such paranormal magnitude she has to be strapped down to prevent her from ‘wandering’. Even the padlocked box is unable to contain the power of the doll as her ghostly hands have been known to pick the lock in an attempt to escape. A selection of protective talismans and amulets dangle from the display in an endeavour to quell the evil forces than animate this bisque abomination.
Spirit Communication Module
It has long been thought that mirrors are seen as windows to the spirit world. The Spiritus Speculo Infinitum is a type of infinity mirror that opens a portal directly to the spirit realm. Once present they may communicate using traditional methods such as bells and tambourines, if you listen carefully you may even hear them speak. The drawers are filled with items once owned by the dead, these ’spirit catalysts’ are used to lure the spirits of the departed through the portal in order to communicate. Some spirits may even leave gifts known as aports and some of these are on display in the cabinet.
The Professor’s Library
A fitting repository for Prof BC’s classic Doppelgänger series, safely strapped in and protected from the inquisitive hands of the uninitiated. In anticipation of Prof BC’s 'Realm of the Fairies', the pinned and mounted specimen of a winged mummified creature resides in silent protection of the tomes below.
The Spirit Theater
Finally, the cabinet converts into a spirit theater complete with velvet curtains and gold footlight shell lights to illuminate the horrors within. Should the performer be feeling brave he may unstrap the haunted doll to give the audience a demonstration of her unearthly powers (from behind closed curtains of course!)
Thanks
A special thanks goes to the client who originally ordered this commission. Your infallible patience and friendship combined with your artistic understanding of not rushing the creative process was most welcomed. May the Cabinet of Curiosities bring you a lifetime of mystery and wonderment.
The Box of Astaroth – Azrael Edition
Azrael is the Angel of Death. He watches over the dying, separates the soul from the body, and receives the spirits of the dead. He then takes the soul of every person and returns it to God. What better angel could adorn a Box of Astaroth whose sole purpose is to commune with the afterlife?
This is the oldest edition I have made as the actual cabinet dates around 1850 while the handles and furniture also date around the late 1800s. The box has been sympathetically modified to retain the aged quality and everything that makes the box 'work' is cunningly concealed.
As with all editions with curtains, there is the ability to make the curtains twitch in response to questions giving the illusion that 'something' is behind them.
The solid pewter skeleton is by UK artist Carl Church who is an International award winning bird taxidermist who also dabbles in pewter casting.
The Box of Astaroth – The Snake Oil Salesman Killer Edition
The SOS (Snake Oil Salesman) killer was one of the first documented US serial killers to poison his victims. This Wild West version of Dr Harold Shipman would travel from town to town touting his dubious ointments and potions to the gullible revelers. He would then select his victim, usually an attractive saloon girl and administer a carefully concocted dose of his 'Beauty Elixir'. This potion was meant to keep women looking young and youthful however, the deadly mixture contained a time delayed dose of snake venom. The SOS killer would administer the medicine from his wagon and then retire for the evening whilst following his intended victim waiting for the venom to incapacitate them. He would then take them back to his wagon and conduct experimental medical procedures on the victim while they were still alive. His amateur attempts at surgery were so brutal and invasive that the women eventually died a slow and painful death whilst being unable to scream due to the paralysis invoked by the snake venom.
Scores of mutilated girls were discovered across the American Old West as the SOS killer wormed his was across the country until he was finally caught in 1879. He was eventually found to be Irish native Marshal Seeley, a ship builder who took his perverted interest in women and medicine and forged a new killer career. To avoid the gallows he self administered a deadly dose of heroin in jail. It was discovered that he had smuggled the suicidal dose into jail internally. He escaped an official sentencing as he died before his trial and so he vanished into the annals of history. It is rumored that Seeley had murdered more than 89 women during his 6 year killing spree although it is though by history experts to be almost double that.
Although the macabre tale of the SOS Killer has faded into history I have been fortunate enough to obtain some of Marshal Seeley's disturbing tools he used to procure his victims. Maybe if we're lucky we may even be able to talk with one of the spirits of his victims tonight who still wander the Earth in limbo waiting for real justice to be served...
This private commission was created for Paul Noffsinger of The Mystery Collection based in Colorado. He specified a Wild West theme and I had always been fascinated by Snake Oil Salesmen of the American Old West so I thought this was a perfect opportunity to create a box of delights for a devious killer cowboy.
The SOS killer's case contains an array of potions and medicines and antique anatomy diagrams. The Victorian wallpaper design is an exact reproduction of the wallpaper in The Sherlock Holmes Museum at 221b Baker Street in London. I had taken a pretty poor photograph of the original wallpaper but after a bit of tinkering in Photoshop I was able to replicate the design and create my own printable Sherlock Holmes wallpaper.
Original wallpaper in The Sherlock Holmes Museum
As with all editions of The Box of Astaroth it comes with a saloon girl doll who mysteriously moves around inside the box as well as various tools to converse with the dead such as spirit bells and music boxes.
All that's required is a few rusty surgeon's tools and some 'trophies' in specimen bottles and the next mystery for The Mystery Collection will unfold..
The Box of Astaroth – The Houdini Seance Edition
Another box leaves the studio, this time for one of my what I like to call SAS clients (stage and screen).
The design brief was a real head scratcher to the point I nearly had to say it wasn't possible but not being one to disappoint I set about trying to solve this seemingly impossible illusion.
With previous versions of The Box of Astaroth a small doll moves around the cabinet by depositing itself into a glass or cremation urn in the same way an Astro Ball cabinet works. The brief from the client had the same mechanics but included one element I didn't think was possible. The box was to be themed around Harry Houdini and a small doll styled like the man himself needed to be bound, chained and placed into a tank of water to replicate one of his signature escapism acts. The doors to the cabinet would be closed and a few moments later they are opened to reveal that Houdini has picked the lock, unbound himself from the chains AND climbed out of the tank of water! The daring escapism act would then signify that the spirit of Houdini was present and a séance would ensue using spirit bells, music boxes and tambourines to converse with Houdini.
As strange as it sounds the idea I had to engineer the escape worked first time. Maybe Houdini gave me some assistance, who knows! I plan to post a video demonstration shortly so watch this space.
The Houdini Seance Edition Box of Astaroth, when presented correctly will give the performer a 20-30 minute show incorporating trivia about the great Houdini followed by an actual escape act and a séance. Some say the box was even once owned by Houdini, how much of that rumour is true I don't know however, it appears to be the only proven way of contacting his spirit...
So Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the world's first ever escapism act from beyond the grave!
Evil Cakes for Kids
It's the summer holidays, schools are out and the house is buzzing with the screams and cheers of two very playful young boys. As you can imagine it's probably the least productive 8 weeks of the year for me hence the lack of blog posts. Having a studio in the garden doesn't help matters either but at least I get to spend some valuable time with my children. Every cloud has a snot and ketchup spattered lining which I am thankful for
In keeping with my boys I thought I would devote this post to them in some way. As an artist people assume you're good at anything vaguely creative which is how I became lumbered with the bi-annual task of making the kids birthday cakes. It's something that started out as a task I reluctantly accepted from my wife to an enjoyable challenge I look forward to.
Having previously never baked or even iced a cupcake in my life, over the last 2 years I've discovered that I must have a natural knack. It could also be down to watching every episode of Choccywoccydoodah, either way I've been bitten by the cake making bug.
Like most of my work, nothing is pre-planned. I just go for it and hope something good appears at the end of the day. The pressure with cakes is that you have less than 24 hours to create something for the big day or risk a torrent of tears and several wired and hungry toddlers waiting for a cake fix .
The joy of having boys is that the theme for the cakes is always something close to my heart. Let's start with dragons....
My first attempt and after 2 hours of sticking red chocolate button scales a sugary Smaug emerged from his lair to be destroyed by a hoard of hungry halflings.
A tribute to the boys favourite film 'Jaws' which in an ironic twist of fate got eaten alive by people. Hand painted with row upon row of Milky Bar teeth this turned out to be a monster of a cake. We're going to need a bigger plate...
Most 2 year old boys love trains but not all of them like Halloween. As you can imagine, being bought up in my house is like Halloween every day so my boys are quite partial to the odd pumpkin and inverted pentagram. The Halloween Train went down a real treat although Christians refrained from eating the tainted and dark-sided delight which meant more for the heathens! The White chocolate and marshmallow smoke was my personal favourite and chef's perks!
Taking inspiration from the deleted Octopus scene from The Goonies I set about creating a Kraken sized cake complete with HMS Sebastian carved from a left over Easter egg. The gallons of blue icing kept the kids awake for days.
Another October birthday and another spooky cake design. This year Oscar wanted a Scooby Doo themed party so the cake idea was a no brainer - a haunted house!
The Devil Made Me Do It – Ghost in the Shell
Some projects take months, sometimes even years to come to fruition, it can seem like you're reluctantly forcing the finished piece into existence. On the other hand, some projects take on a life of their own as if they are building themselves while you sleep. This project is certainly one of those that had 'the elves and the shoemaker' syndrome as it seemed to have come together without much conscious interaction. Without sounding too 'out there' I feel like most of my art is the result of an outside influence and by outside I mean not the natural world around me but the supernatural. Something takes hold and guides my hands while my brain slips into neutral and listens to the radio or ponders menial problems like what to cook the boys for dinner. Looking at the bizarre demonic toy sat on my workshop table I can only really come to the conclusion that there's a very strong possibility that the Devil did indeed make me do it.
After 4 weeks of researching and tinkering I can finally reveal the restored version of The Devil Made Me Do It. I use the term restoration loosely though as there were hardly enough remaining components to build a quarter of what you see here. Apart from a battered head, smashed body and the original wooden box (wooden enclosure only minus the art), the rest of the project has been an educated guess influenced by the descriptions in Reverend Morrison's diary. At this stage it is, as the title suggests, a shell as there are no working elements installed at the moment. My wife's uncle has made some progress on the clockwork mechanism and I hope to install this towards the end of July.
The artwork was probably the most time consuming element as it was like a jigsaw puzzle with 60% of the pieces missing. With no chance of ever locating the missing art it was down to imagination and many hours sat at the graphic tablet with my hands working autonomously. The 'game' certainly conveys a 1950s carnie feel, the addition of the 3-card game board and lights are my own personal touches.
Aesthetically it is nothing like any of my previous work which has been solely Gothic Victoriana. Granted, it is a restoration project but when presented with so few parts and sketchy information where does restoration end and creation begin?
A demonic focal point for any serious collection, 'The Devil Made Me Do It' commands curiosity and draws in the inquisitive like flies to a corpse. The juxtaposition of the vintage toy facade coupled with satanic overtones makes it an unnerving conversation piece with strange powers that can be demonstrated to those who dare play with the Devil! In that respect it does what the original device intended to do, to temporarily tempt the righteous away from God to demonstrate how easily evil can influence behavior if you let your guard down for one moment. That is of course if you believe in all that bunkum.
'The Devil Made Me Do It' is the satanic love child of a possessed Jack in a Box and Zoltar the Fortune Teller and in a few weeks I shall hopefully be the Dr Frankenstein who gives this monster life once more. Given the unfortunate history you have to ask yourself if it is wise to mess with the unknown? To which I say “Yes!”
Check back soon to see what happens when the lights and working mechanism are installed in a few weeks.
Crookes' Residual Ectometron - The Ouija Electric Edition
The Ectometron has officially been out of production for well over a year due to difficulty in finding parts. Some of the vital components had become obsolete and no longer in production which had a knock on effect with my production of this iconic piece.
So what do you do when one of your best clients requests an Ectometron and won't take no for an answer? You say OK and start the arduous task of sourcing alternative parts.
Seven months later a complete Ectometron emerged from the studio like no other. Mounted on a Victorian chest of drawers and with a detachable Ouija board this looks more like an occult switchboard to the spirit world.
This version is designed to be used by one person. A 'Spirit Catalyst' is placed in the metal sphere and the machine is started. This can be a person item once owned by the deceased such as a ring or lock of hair. The use of the catalyst allows the user to contact specific spirits rather than random ones. The combination of the catalyst and the Ouija board and then used to channel thespirit which materialises in the Ectoplasmic Chamber. Once the spirit has manifested the user may then communicate with the Ouija board and relieved audible spirit responses via the bell, visual responses by electrostatic discharge in the chamber or even vocally via the spirit trumpet.
Once the communication is complete the lid can be removed from the Ectoplasmic Chamber and the residual ectoplasm from the apparition will escape into the ether in the form of a vortex which can reach over 7 feet.
Even when not in use this particular Ectometron can be used to play gramophone music through.
All of the pictures can be seen here in my portfolio gallery.
The Devil Made Me Do It, pick a sin, any sin...
The great thing about a blog is that you're never sure who is reading it. Sometimes you wonder if anyone is actually reading it at all but every now and again your receive some form of reassurance that your posts don't just vanish into the electronic ether.
Last week I received a response to my 'The Devil Made Me Do It' blog post from 10th June. The reader kindly pointed me in the direction of a well known History Channel antiques hunting show based in the US. He recalled that in a very early episode of season 2 the team came across a barn in South Carolina owned by a crazy old hoarder who collected religious items.
One of the items the team found was a deck of cards that depicted sins. This sounded awfully familiar to the cards that accompanied the strange game I had acquired. So I set about trying to trace the exact episode through various channels, some legitimate and some not so. I eventually found the episode on a Russian site that hosted nearly every History & Discovery Channel program and their associates episodes as well as numerous other shows. I had strong doubts that the site was legal but armed with good virus protection and a fast internet connection I found what I wanted. For legal reasons I'm unable to upload the clip to YouTube but I will do my best to describe it and I have provided some screen shots.
I found the part of the show where the team tried with all of their persuasion and charm to get the serial spiritual hoarder to part with some of his loot which was proving easier said than done. Then from behind a rusty Coca Cola sign one of the show presenters pulled out an old box containing various standard church items, an old bible, a crucifix, order of service leaflets and a mysterious deck of cards.
The presenter remarked on the odd find and jokingly asked his partner in crime to "pick a card, any card!". He picks a card and reads it aloud, "Your Sin is blaspheming". He then briefly holds the card up so the back can be seen and there it was, the back of the card had The Devil Made Me Do It logo! The card was an exact match for the few I had in the studio and to know that there was another complete set in existence was unbelievable.
The most remarkable thing was that when the show presenter asked the old chap how much he wanted for the cards he replied "nah, you can have 'em, maybe they'll help you stay on the righteous path".
I then jumped straight to Google to source a contact number or address for the business featured in the show and minutes later I was composing an e-mail asking how much they wanted for the Sin deck!
I explained that I had a number of cards and an original The Devil Made Me Do It 'game' in various bits. I asked firstly if they still had the deck and secondly how much they were willing to sell it for.
They replied a few days later saying the deck wasn't for sale. They did however, offer to scan all of the cards and send me a pdf copy in return for keeping them in the loop on how the restoration of the original machine was developing.
So I now have a full deck of all 48 Sin cards from The Devil Made Me Do It. My personal favourite has to be the 'Eating Blood' card. It's almost incomprehensible to think that vampirism was still feared in 1950s America!
The actual card dimensions are a little larger than standard business cards so I cleaned up the pdf scans and combined them with artwork from the few card I had to produce a replica deck.
The restoration of the game is coming along nicely and I'll be blogging some images soon. The actual exterior is almost complete but the internal workings are way beyond my technical level. As ironic as it sounds, the mechanism is so odd it could've been designed by the Devil himself!
Stewart McDonald the lebanon circle carpenter RIP
Even though Lebanon Circle is a one man venture there are many cogs behind the scenes that keep things ticking over. The people I lovingly refer to as 'cogs' are family and close friends who do the difficult bits I can't do, namely needlework and carpentry. Sadly, the chap who I have worked with the most died yesterday after a 5 week battle with cancer. Not only was he my 'wood wizard', he was also my best friend's dad, a good mate and someone I've known virtually all of my life.
If you're an owner of Dolly Darko, Abacus Spiritalis or The Swami Spirit Altar II you'll be familiar with his amazing work. I still have many of his prototypes and works in progress scattered around the studio now unlikely to see the light of day. We were only discussing the plans for Dolly Darko MkII a few months ago before his health took a noticeable dive. Cancer is a relentless and uncompromising bastard that affects everyone at some point in life and 2016 seems to be year the evil fucker has stepped up his game. Childhood rock idols and film stars are one thing but family and friends really over steps the mark. It's certainly the end of an era and the business won't be the same without Stewart.
Ultimately he lived long enough to achieve what every parent wishes for. To see their own kids flourish, get married and have a family of their own. Stewart was not only a great craftsman, he was also an avid wildlife conservationist who saved countless hedgehogs, squirrels and birds of prey. He was also a great dad, grandad and the only man I know who could hit a moving target with a Christmas dinner from 100 yards.
He'll always be remembered as a vital part of making Lebanon Circle what it is today and it won't be the same without him. One of my cogs is missing and it will be a long time before things start ticking again.
Stewart McDonald - 20th January 1947 - 28th June 2016